Home
by Jessiy Landroz
Summary: Wounds need to be healed from the inside before the outside... Raph centric [One Shot]


I opened my eyes, and blinked once, twice.

'_Damn, must've dozed off._' I rubbed my dry eye with my fist.

I rubbed my stiff neck and sleepily looked around. I was at the monitor area, sitting on the couch, all the TV's were on, but blurring in white. Whatever it was we were watching, had probably long time ended by now. Mikey was asleep next to me, his bandaged head on my thigh. We all had our equipment taken off, due to our injuries, no masks or pads, they were discarded to our rooms.

We spent the whole night watching late-night horror movies, the only thing he was interested in watching, as long as I keep him company, that is. Two weeks ago, Donny said the injury was a concussion, and I should keep him awake during the first night. Unfortunately, Mikey didn't agree, and held on to the 'keep him awake' order for the following five days.

It wasn't all that bad, I've seen these movies many times I remember them by heart, from old black and white movies, to the new colored ones. Mikey kept ducking behind me like a little kid, screaming like a little girl, not that he isn't a kid, mind you. I stretched out my left arm, seeing I broke my right one two weeks ago, along with my right leg. I allowed myself to stroke Mikey's sleeping face, he's good company when he's not being a pest.

Damn tech ninja, that disappearing act and kicking me when I can't see them is just so low. I growled to myself, a low, deep grumble in the pit of my throat, just so I won't wake Mikey. Not only did they manage to sprain Mikey's left ankle, and almost bash his head open, sprain Leo's right wriest, bruised April's left leg and Donny's right shoulder, I had to sacrifice my right arm and leg to save Donny and April from a crowbar.

At least it was worth it, Donny and April are only medics among us, without them, we're as good as dead.

Master Splinter was disappointed at Leo, saying that it wasn't wise for us to try and take out so many tech ninja alone, and that we should have retreated to safety, as soon as we located April, after receiving her distress signal. Leo just apologized, the idiot didn't even try to _explain_ what happened! April was gonna get killed if I hadn't gotten to her in time, and the chip on my shell is proof.

I looked over to the dojo where April is staying. No way are we gonna let her stay home after what had happened. I reached over to my shoulder and felt the sharp edge of my chipped shell, to think I was _this_ close to death, at least it would have been worth it, saving both Donny and April, for the simple cost of my own body.

To save two lives for the cost of one, I don't mind.

I felt the chip's sharp edge under my fingertips again, I remember that Donny managed to retrieve the broken bit before we fled the scene, he said it's better, just so Stockman wont be able to clone me with it or something. Mikey cracked a joke, he said that any more of me would do more good to Shredder than to us. If only he didn't have a concussion, I would've smacked him one.

"Raph," Leo's voice was soft, he silently trudged towards me, his bruised foot healed, but it still hurts to step on. He had a blanket under his arm, his sprinted wrist was all bandaged up and lazing to his side, he used to carry it in a sling until two days ago, because he weren't allowed to move it much, "is he asleep?" he stopped next to me and looked at Mikey.

"Yeah, I think he's drooling on me, though." I grouched softly, now carefully moving my hand away from my shoulder.

Leo chuckled, covered Mikey with the blanket, and Mikey murmured a bit, he slipped his head off my thigh, and that gave Leo a chance to put a cushion there.

I scooted a little further to give Mikey more space, and then grabbed my crutch, I readied myself to get up.

"Let me help you." Leo offered, grabbing my fine arm, putting it over his shoulder.

"I'm fine." I halfheartedly hissed.

"Not with those fractured bones you're not." He smiled teasingly, "Going to call it a night?"

I sighed, and then shook my head, saying no.

I looked at his bandaged wrist, "How's it doing?"

He moved it to our view and smiled, "Donny said it's healing fine, I don't need the sling anymore." He explained, "Mikey's bandages are probably coming off tomorrow along with mine, but your cast will have to stay longer, I'm afraid." He motioned to my leg and arm.

I sighed heavily, I don't have the heart to fight with anyone anymore, "I'm sick and tired of being confined in here, I want out." I grouched, "How long have we been in here, two weeks?"

"Almost, yeah." He nodded, "You wanna go to your room?"

"Nah, I wanna go talk to Donny." I looked over to the subway cart, Donny's little lab and infirmary room.

Leo nodded and helped me get there.

Donny was at his study desk, his fingers flying over the keyboard of his computer, the rapid clicking of the buttons instantly stopped when our shadows dropped near him, so he paused for a moment to turn from his silver screen to greet us. When we first entered, Leo just helped me to a chair, and then said he wanted to get Mikey to his room, so we watched him leave.

For a good long moment, neither Donny nor I made a sound, but then Donny moved back to his computer, I just lazed back and looked around his lab. I looked down at my cast, when I slept during the first few days, after surviving the fight with the tech ninja, Mikey decided to decorate my cast, he's got all these funny doodles and phrases in many colors written there.

"You feeling okay?" Donny's voice spoke, soft and concerned, yet he was still eyeing the screen.

"I dunno…" I murmured, "I feel drained out." I sighed, lulled my head to the side and looked at him, "What'cha doing?"

"I'm studying the fabric those tech ninja wore, I think if I can figure out what it's made of, maybe I can figure out a way to disable their ability, without using the heat sensor or night vision goggles." He explained.

"U huh…" I breathed out, "As long as I get a chance to kick their butt, the method doesn't concern me." I grouched.

I could feel him smile, but I didn't have to see it, "Nice to see you're coming around to your old self, Raph."

I looked at him, "What do ya mean?"

He stopped typing to look at me, "Well, ever since two weeks ago, you've been kind of- dead, spiritually." He answered, "You feel alright?"

I sighed, a cold sensation washed over my, making my skin bristle, "I feel like a complete loser." I looked away, "If only I've been a little faster, you and April wouldn't have gotten hurt." I hissed and motioned to his bandaged shoulder with my fine hand.

Donny shook his head, "Raph, you lost a good sized chunk of your shell, I think it's enough."

"Well, it was not good enough for me." I reached over to touch my chipped shell, "Wish I could see how much I lost."

"Careful what you wish for." he murmured, "Because I _can_ make it come true."

For a moment, I swallowed. Donny and everyone else have had a good look at my broken shell, they know how much I've lost, and from how Mikey's face twists around guilty, and sheepishly, whenever he looks at me, I take it it's a good big chunk. I'm almost too afraid to ask. I frowned and felt my shoulder, my finger running over the chipped edge, all I could tell was a good three inches from the rim missing.

But how much from the shell itself? I don't know.

Since my right side had been the one injured, I'm feeling it with my left hand, and it's not feeling much, I cant reach farther than over my shoulder, and my shell it too big and round to go around it. I eyed Donny, who was eyeing me in concern, I hate being pitied, I've had enough of those glances the last two weeks to last me a lifetime!

"Show me." I tried not to hiss.

He shook his head, "Raph, I don't- ?"

"Show Me!" I demanded in a low, deep growl.

He furrowed and looked away, "Fine." He got up and walked over to a closet, he searched a bit and came out with a small, wooden box, he walked towards me, and put it in front of me on the lab's table, "Open it whenever you feel it, Raph. But trust me, you wont like what you see." He said almost in a warning tone.

I watched him go back to his computer.

I eyed the box for a long moment, it was hexagon shaped, smooth edges, looked kinda big, about as big as Donny's tablet board, it was made of oak trees, soft brown and with flowers engraved on the sides and lid, a little hole at the head like a lock, but it was broken. It also had small golden twinkles here and there, I'm guessing it used to be some rich lady's accessory box.

I braced myself and touched it, my fingers caressed the lid. The cover was waxed, really cool and smooth. I hesitantly put my fingers over the lid's top, as my thumb hesitantly pushed the lock-area inwards, it resulted a small click, so I lifted the lid a bit, eyeing the darkness inside. My fingers trembled, but I ignored the racing of my heart, and felt my hand shake.

Inside the box, for my widening eyes, were dark green, shell plates, cracked, multiple, uneven sides, with the missing part of my rim on one of the edges. I hesitantly picked up the pieces one by one, pushed the box a little away to clear some space, and just like a jigsaw puzzle, I steadied my trembling hand as well as I could, I began fitting the bits together.

After a moment, the pieces were fit together.

The chunk had the fair diameter of seven inches long. My breath sped a bit, there was almost one fifth of my shell in this box! If my shell, from top to bottom, had four central plates, and three pairs of secondary plates on each side, six in total, then I just lost three and a half plates, and about one and a half rim-rings from my shell.

That means the top right corner of my shell had been completely cracked, scrapped off my back.

"Raph," Donny's fingers gently gripped my trembling hand, pushing it down and away from the broken shell bits, "just forget about it, okay?" he picked up the box and shoved all the pieces back in the box, closing it.

I stared at him for a very long moment, then stared at the box, "Not enough…" I murmured.

"What?" he asked while discarding the box at the other side of the lab table, confused.

"I didn't get a good look." I breathlessly complained, my fine hand gripped to my cast so hard, I was sure any more pressure and it'd crack.

Donny pushed up the box further away from me, away from my reach, but still within sight, "Sorry, Raph." He apologized.

After a moment, I just stared at the table top, then my eyes fixed at the small wooden box, I dare not look at Donny, I just listened to his feet shuffle on the floor, walking back to his computer, his fingers tapping over the keys. I felt rage, anger, and so much- _pain_! The breath in my lungs just grew hotter, heavier and my eyes stung.

I was cold, ice cold, I felt like I was freezing.

I squeezed my eyes shut and put my forehead on the table, I felt the salty drops slip from under my eyelids and hit the floor with a soft slap, my fine hand crossed my chest, a poor attempt to hug myself. I sunk my head between my shoulders, holding tightly to myself, curling into a tight ball, I felt like a complete failure! At least if I would have died, I'd die with honor, but I'm still alive!

Now, not only am I a freak, I'm freakier with a broken, deformed shell!

My whole body began to shake, I felt so cold. I tried to calm myself, there was no reason for me to be so hurt, I sacrificed myself for my brothers, I shouldn't make a scene over it, right? I'm willing to give myself for them, right? I'm not gonna blame Donny for this, it's not his fault, it's my own, I should have been more careful. I'm willing to sacrifice every drop of blood in my veins for them.

Then why am I so angry about losing a bony bit of my shell?

I felt a touch over my shoulders, there were three pairs of arms. My breath grew labor, but the hot, salty tears trickled down my unmasked face, nonetheless. I felt so ashamed, breaking up into tears like that, I don't know why, I felt pathetic, I couldn't even look at them anymore. I blinked a few more times, trying to clear the tears away, it took me a while before I managed to find my voice again.

"You… didn't- have to see that…" my voice was rasp, shaky and chocked.

The first pair of arms were Mikey's, I recognized his skin tone, he just wrapped his arms around me and hugged tight, his head tucked mine under his chin, he didn't say anything. I just listened to his breath, and felt a single teardrop hit my shoulder. The second was Donny's, wrapped around me with Mikey's, he just put his head on my shoulder. The last pair of arms was Leo's, his bandaged wrist's hand rested over my fine hand, squeezing my fingers in silent comfort.

I felt my whole body shake, the tears just kept coming down, I couldn't stop it.

"I'm sorry Raph," Donny whispered, "If only I'd been more careful, you- ?"

"Drop it." I hissed, though voice still rasp and cracked, ignoring the tears in my eyes.

Donny fell silent, but his hug grew tighter.

"I was scared." Mikey finally piped out, "I was _really_, really scared, Raphie." He moved his arms around me just a little, tightening the hug.

I opened my eyes and looked at the tabletop, I tightened my grip on Leo's hand, he replied by squeezing just a little tighter.

I smiled the tiniest bit, the shake in my body eased a bit, "I know Mikey, I'm sorry you had to see that." I murmured.

"That was pretty brave, though." Leo piped out, voice soft and calm, "When I saw them heading to Donny with that chainsaw, I felt my feet pinned to the floor, I couldn't even warn them." Leo admitted.

I perked, moving my head just a little, still not daring eye contact, "I thought it was a crowbar." I eyed Leo's direction.

Leo's eyes were glassy, I could tell, but he weren't crying, he gave me a confused look, "No, it was a chainsaw." He affirmed, "But maybe because it was so dark, I dunno…" he shrugged.

I swallowed a lump in my throat, it doesn't matter what my shell collided with, what matters is that it will never be the same again.

There was a strangely, comfortable period of silence.

"What are we gonna do now?" Mikey asked, still holding me when Donny drew back, and Leo hesitantly released my hand, "Can we, like, glue it back on or something?" he was looking at the wooden box.

Leo shook his head, "I doubt that would work, Mikey."

"Hey! I know! Like mosaic! That's artistic!" Mikey cheered good-naturally.

"It'll look more like graffiti, Mikey." Donny replied, a little amused.

"Does it look weird?" I hesitantly asked, heartbeats throbbing against my plastron, "Does it make me look more a freak than I already am?"

There was a moment of silence, but the one who spoke was none of my brothers.

"Raph, you really need to stop thinking that." It was April, she trudged into the lab and looked at us, "I was wondering where you guys were." She sweetly smiled.

"Morning April." Leo greeted her, "How's your leg?"

"The bruise is healing nicely, nothing too bad." She answered, "How about you guys?"

"I'm no longer a mummy!" Mike grinned, pointing to his head where the bandages used to be, only now I noticed that it had been taken off, the nasty bruise that used to be there is gone now. "Can I take these off, too?" he pointed to his bandaged ankle, "Its really getting itchy." He pouted.

"Sorry, not yet." April smiled apologetically, then looked at Donny and me, "How about you two?"

"I'm fine." Donny answered, he placed his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it a bit.

I nodded, "Okay, I guess." I paused, "Just weird."

I felt Donny's grip tighten just a bit, so I reached up to put my hand on his, usually I dislike being comforted, but right now, I really appreciate it. I blinked in start when Mikey latched on to me again, hugging me fiercely and tightly, his tears threatening to spill on my cast, and I just didn't have the heart to say anything, or even push him away, I released Donny's hand to hug Mikey back, it felt so strange.

I love my family, and I love my brothers, but letting them see me like this, being so weak and broken, I don't like it. It feels wrong, I don't know how to fix it, I feel just so confused. I rested my head on Mikey's shoulder, and he nuzzled my neck, ignoring Leo and Donny, who just put their hands on my shoulders, I closed my eyes, this silent comforting is all I ask for, I need nothing else.

I hear them talking, but I didn't care, Mikey and I just held on to each other, it felt odd, comfortable but odd. I mean, usually when Mike and I are in the same room, or area for that matter, I'm always trying to kill him because he's pulling some sort of dumb stunt, or prank on me, I hate it. I opened my eyes just a bit and sat up straight, he eased off and I noticed he was kneeling on the floor, so when we parted, he just smiled up at me.

"You gonna be okay, Raphie?" he smiled, his hands on my knees.

I frowned with a smile, "Don't call me Raphie."

He chuckled and beamed up at me happily, "Okay, Raphie."

I ignored the others' chuckles, and Mikey got up.

"Okay, master Splinter should be up soon." Leo informed, heading towards the door.

April and Mikey followed, while Donny stood next to me, he put a hand on my shoulder, as if asking me to stay sitting down.

"Great! I'll get breakfast ready, then." Mikey chimed and raced out.

"I'll help." April smiled and walked after him.

I smiled a bit, at least everything else feels normal, just like any other day. I turned my head to face Don, he was still gazing at the door, but when he noticed my gaze, he just smiled at me. He motioned with a finger, asking me to wait, I just blinked, confused. He left to his cabinet and retrieved a small folder, he placed it on the lab table, then went about closing the lab's door.

He walked over back to me and pulled his chair, he sat down facing me, "Raph, we need to talk."

I eyed him wearily, "Donny, you're acting as if I'm supposed to give out my death wish or something." I grouched.

He chuckled, "No, it's nothing like that." he pulled at the folder and took a photo out, "This is a picture of how your shell looks like, Raph. As much as I don't want to show you, I think you have every right to see how it looks like right now."

I hesitantly extended my hand, and he put the picture, face down, in my hand. I looked at the photo's back and collected my courage, and flicked it over.

I stared.

My eyes grew wide.

There was this hideous looking crack, it was blazing my shell from my top right shoulder corner, all the way down and almost splitting my shell in half, the crack stopped an inch or two, before the bottom left corner of my shell. The crack was huge, and I heard Donny murmur that it actually bled when they first got me home, but then the bleeding stopped when they forced the cracked halves together.

I just stared at the picture and listened to Donny's voice, he mentioned something about shell-cream, he got from some vet pharmacy, and it's something like cement, it'll fill the cracked gap and keep my shell in one piece, something like healing my broken bones, except that it'll work on my shell, because it needs the air to harden, and it'll take a while before my shell heals on its own, while being bony and all.

"… as for the naked part of your shell, I'm afraid it'll be an easy target for projectiles, seeing it's so soft and vulnerable." He concluded.

I looked at him, "What do ya mean?"

He furrowed in concern, got up and stood and reached over my shoulder. I gasped in start when something cold touched my shoulder blade, "Right here is your bare flesh, it's the edge of the crack, your nerves and muscles are exposed and naked, and are so frail, even the smallest speck of sand would cause an infection."

"Then why are you touching it?" I hissed, it actually hurt a bit when he touched me there.

"The outer flesh had already hardened with the air exposure, Raph, the outer layer of your muscles died." He explained, "I can bandage them up, and maybe we can make you wear some sort of armor to protect your exposed flesh, but that won't mean it's safe from getting infected."

I felt the shiver crawl up my spine, "Maybe we should try Mikey's idea and just glue it back on?" I shrugged.

Donny chuckled, "Ah, no, I don't think it'll work." He patted my shoulder, then walked around and sat back on his chair, facing me, "You see, after we were mutated, I studied your broken shell parts, and it seems we, unlike normal turtles, have three layers on us, instead of one."

I tilted my head, confused, "Meaning?"

"It means that the impact your shell received was so strong, if you were human, it would have split you in half, but due to the density of your shell, it lost all three layers, barely saving your inner flesh from exposure."

"So you're saying I have three shells on my back?"

"One shell, three thick layers. Our plastrons have two thinner layers instead of one, though. That's why they're softer and more flexible."

I paused for a moment, "Why are you telling me this?"

Donny retrieved the photo and put it in the folder, "I'm telling you this, because, unlike your arm and leg, your shell won't heal and won't be growing back just as fast, Raph. This is permanent."

I stared at him, but when the words sank in, I dropped my gaze to the floor.

"Raph, I'm sorry." He said after a long pause, now he wrapped his arms around me in a hug, "If only I would have paid more attention…"

"Even if you did, would it have changed anything." I said, more a statement than a question, and wrapped my fine arm around him, accepting the comforting hug.

"I don't know, Raph, I just don't know." He whispered back, hugging tighter.

For a long moment, we just hugged, and I grew to appreciate the silence even more. For a long moment, I wished if only I would have died that day, I don't know why, was it shame to have failed protecting my brothers better? Was it shame of myself? Was it just shame of walking around looking more a freak than I already am? I just don't know, I really don't know anymore.

Though entrapped in Donny's arms.

I feel so alone.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Time flew by.

The hours turned into days, and the days turned into weeks.

Donny took off the casts, that now hang lifelessly in my room, on my workout bars, near the Chinese lantern, and my brothers were all healed from their physical wounds, only mine remained, with the biggest mental wound we have ever suffered. I grew angrier with every stare, every attempt to be comforted, I confined myself in my room, I couldn't face them anymore.

April did her best to bring things back to normal, she even blamed herself for my state. I didn't comment or argue, I just want to be left alone. Soon Casey found out, he tried to help me back on my feet, he managed to encourage me out of my room, but I never dared leave the lair, I didn't want to meet up with any thugs, who would notice by ugly weak spot and deal me a one hit kill.

Never did I think thug bashing would scare me as it does now.

I only wake up early, I'm the last to arrive at training, and the first to leave, I barely eat half of what I used to, and I barely talk as much, too. I refuse to leave my bedroom, and spend most of my time working out on the lightweights, or listening to my favorite radio channel. Sometimes Mikey allows himself in to talk, sometimes I appreciate it, others, he just cracks a joke that gets me angry and I chase him out.

Neither Leo or Donny dare step one foot into my room, unless Donny needs to check my injury for infections, they were too afraid to make things worse, even Sensei couldn't do much help. With his age and frequent sickness, I couldn't bring myself to worry him, but yet I was too angry at myself to step out of my room. I always sleep on my stomach, when I'm lazing on my hammock.

Whenever I start thinking of my missing shell part, subconsciously, I always end up putting my hand where my shell-rim used to be. I touched the dead flesh, and just as Donny said, it was somewhat dry, touching it hurt just a bit, like touching a hardening, fresh-cut wound. My eyes stung, I hate thinking about it, I just wish if I could ignore this.

"Raphie?" Mikey's voice piped into my room, "Can I come in?"

"No, ya can't, but I doubt that'll stop ya." I murmured and from my hammock, sat up, and turned my head a bit to look at him, "What do ya want?"

"Well, I was kinda working on this with April," he walked towards me and stood next to me at the hammock's bar, he extended a poorly-wrapped gift box at me, when I made no move to accept it, he continued, "I hope you like it." He put it in my lap and hastily walked out without another word.

I stared at the box in my lap, and half wanted to smash it, half wondered what was inside. I sighed heavily, anything from April couldn't possibly be a prank, right? So I picked up the box and undid the knot, sitting cross legged in my hammock, I hesitantly lifted the lid. For a moment, I was confused; all I saw were straps and belts, with a huge shoulder-like armor piece.

I pulled it out, the straps and belts were black, red and brown, with the shoulder armor piece in dust, golden yellow. I knew this thing; I saw it in a wooden crate at April's antique shop, before Shredder burned it down. But now, it was decorated. Donny must've done the engraving, it looked like a turtle shell, the armor piece had another leathery-like piece attached to it, probably to cover the shoulder blades, or my cracked shell anyway, and at that, I realized what this was.

Mikey was giving me armor that'll cover up my deformed shell.

Mikey never was comfortable with me turning my ugly back to him, and I bet he only asked April to help because he needed someone to throw the blame on when I get angry. I seethed through my teeth, the cowered! How dare he! I grabbed the armor piece and angrily threw it, with all my might, at the far away wall, it collided with a loud ringing sound.

I doubted that Mikey didn't hear it, so as I reached for the box to toss it with it's partner in crime, I saw a small envelope. My name was written on it, and I knew it wasn't Mikey's handwriting. I swallowed, my rage died in my throat, I picked up the envelope and pulled out the small slip of paper, I began to read the delicate letters that elegantly filled the lines.

:_Dear__ Raphael. _

_I know that you're having it hard, and it pains us, your brothers, father and friends, to see you like this. We wish to help you, but we can't reach out for you when you keep yourself to the darkness you loathed for so long. You have every right to be angry at us, and we have every right to worry about your welfare, all we ask is that you allow us to be, and stay a family, we could have lost you, and we are losing you to your anger, please don't push us away, let us help you. _

_We love you and we care, please, believe in us, lend us your resolve, and we will be your strength._

_Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, Splinter, Casey and April._

_We love you, please come back to us.:_

I felt like crying, the salty tears trickled down my face and I felt so broken. I clutched the paper in my hands and hugged it tightly, I curled over myself and sunk into my hammock. I feel like a fool! Why am I so drowned in my own self pity? I keep telling myself I will gladly sacrifice myself for them, and I did! I sacrificed myself for my family, then why do I regret my actions?

I fell asleep, I don't know for how long.

I felt weak and tired, all I wanted was to curl up and die. I opened my eyes and the first thing to get my attention was the armor piece in one hand, and the slip of paper in the other. I stared at it, when did I pick it up? Then again, when did I cover myself up with the blanket? I slowly, and tiredly pushed myself sitting up, I stared at the paper and the armor.

I decided that the best way to heal, is to start from the inside.

I'm a realist, why should I hide from the truth any longer?

I slipped on the armor, the metallic-cup-like piece over my shoulder, while the leather-like piece covered my shell, while attached with the belts and straps, I pulled one strap across my chest, another from over my shoulder and under my arm, a third that crossed with the second and buckled up with the third, and I was done. I braced myself, and decided to step out of my bedroom, on my own, for the first time in weeks.

It felt awkward, stepping out when they all were gathered at the monitor area, drinking and watching a movie silently, only Mikey would banter and try to pick up a conversation, April helped out a little, but they weren't doing very well. I decided to test my ninjutsu skills, I hopes I didn't let them rot in my state of self pity. As I drew near, I was glad no one noticed me, so I listened in to their conversation.

"Hey, how about we stop for pizza?" Mikey chimed while tossing popcorn in his mouth.

"Nah, we already have a few frozen ones in the fridge." Donny exclaimed.

"Aw, C'mon! A nice sizzling hot one tastes better than frozen ones!" Mikey argued.

Leo shook his head, "I'm with Donny, what about you Raph? Hot or frozen?"

Instantly, they all stopped, they all twirled around to eye me, surprised to say anything, and I stared at them for a moment. April and Casey looked pleased to see me out of my room without being coaxed, so were master Splinter and Mikey, Donny looked relieved and Leo just smiled. I mentally cursed myself, leave it to Splinter junior to know I was there.

'_I'm getting rusty, I need more practice._' I grouched to myself.

I ignored the beaming smile on Mikey's face, he was obviously staring at the armor piece.

Leo looked pleased to see me too, but probably for a complete other reason.

I shrugged a shoulder, "Whatever floats your boat, Leo." I reasoned.

Leo frowned, still smiling, he hates it when I don't give a direct yes or no, it's something I picked up while healing from the incident.

Mikey grinned, "I take that as a yes for hot, no for frozen!"

I smirked, "C'mon, Leo. Aren't you sick and tired of his cooking by now?" I pointed at Mikey, who pouted in offence, "I mean, Takeouts sound pretty good right about now." I argued.

"Yeah!" Mikey quickly smiled and cheered, "Please, Leo?"

Leo sighed, "Fine, takeouts it is." He smiled.

Mikey cheered like always, he begged to choose the topping, but we all refused in a loud '_NO!_', our stomachs aren't as iron-strong as his own. Sometimes I wonder how he even keeps the stuff inside of him, and doesn't hurt it all out or something. Like pineapple slices with chocolate syrup? Ugh, I don't wanna think about it. Sometimes, I wonder if Mikey's stomach is even normal.

"Something wrong, Raph?" Donny asked.

"Huh?" I looked at him, and he was staring at my shoulder, I noticed I put my hand on where my broken shell is at. It's a habit I also picked up from the incident, now whenever I'm nervous, worried or feeling uneasy, my hand always finds a perch on my shoulder, betraying me, and declaring my feelings.

Now both Leo and Mike gave me worried glances.

I rolled my eyes, "I was just wondering what kind of topping Mikey will choose." I argued.

At that Donny chuckled, "Hopefully, not fried rice and marshmallows like last time."

Leo smiled nervously, "I thought it was curry and gum drops?"

"Nope, I'm sure it was pineapples and chocolate syrup." I arched a brow ridge.

"Nu uh!" Mikey argued, "It was peanut butter and jelly guys!"

"On pizza?" Casey asked, looking groused.

"Yup." Mikey nodded with a big grin.

"That's when Raph suffered a bad case of hiccups, right?" Donny looked at me.

"Don't remind me." I grouched, flushed a bit.

April surprised me when she walked over and pecked my cheek, "Welcome home Raph." She hugged me, "Welcome home."

I smiled nervously and looked around.

The second I locked eyes with sensei, I knew he was the one, who had placed the items in my hand when I were asleep.

I just smiled and nodded, "I'm glad to be back, you guys."

Mikey was the second to jump off to hug me, "Yeah! I missed you Raphie!"

I rolled my eyes, "Don't call me Raphie!"

Somehow, I didn't feel alone anymore.

I was home.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

It's been years now.

Ten years to be exact.

I twirled my sai and watched the thug run creaming, I laughed, it felt so good to watch them low lives screaming, it makes me feel like I've done something for a change. I looked around at the last of the Foot soldiers, it's been a while since we finally slay Shredder, or Leo did, anyway. I think we finally got them good this time, I grinned.

"Way to go Raph!" Mikey cheered and slapped my arm playfully.

I grinned and tucked my sai in my belt, "Was that all? I was just starting to have fun!"

Donny walked over and he looked concerned, "Raph, you dent you armor." He explained.

I eyed my accessory and noticed a small bullet dent, the bullet I took for Mikey earlier left it's mark I see, "So? It's bullet proof, aint it?"

"Yeah, but still." He complained, "I gotta look after that when we get home."

"Anyway, let's go home." Leo motioned, and headed on ahead.

It's been so long, I rarely take the armor off unless I need a bath, or when Donny needs to run a check up, to examine my exposed flesh for any infections, but after being exposed for so long, my natural green skin started spreading over where my broken shell used to be, covering my once bare flesh. The armor saved my life many countless times, deflecting everything from dust, shuriken's, to arrows and bullets, and I owe it all to April and Mikey.

According to April and Donny, my bony shell is growing back about one centimeter per year, so now, about eight-to-ten centimeters, of my broken shell's first layer had grown back, less of my second and third layer have regenerated, but my rim-ring isn't growing back, so in order for all three layers to grow back to how my shell used to look like, Donny estimated that it'll happen on my sixtieth birthday.

Heck! At sixty, in human aging terms, I'd be retired anyway, so it shouldn't bother me, right?

Well, times flies when you're having fun, so all I gotta do is have fun.

Yeah, life might have it's ugly parts, but still some parts are really beautiful.

You just have to know where and when to look.

Xxxxxxxxxx

-END-

Xxxxxxxxxx

A/N: I dunno, a little Angist/Drama idea that's been bugging me for a while, I figured I'd just type it down, so yeah…


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